jostling for another shot.

cigarette smoke (yea cigarette smoke in your eye) -arctic monkeys
clear skies and a heavy heart

i have this perpetual flu that will not go away. for the past fortnight, i awake every single morning with a stuffed nose and a stuffed head and it's infuriating. im so absurdly frightened that im going to follow the footsteps of my family members (i.e. my mom) and become sinusibeasts (i.e. people who are riddled with sinus problems and who end up making unflattering and somtimes, downright scary, noises every once in a while in the attempt to .. clear one's nose, clear one's throat, etc. etc.).

anyways on other things, today i had sumptious lunch at this new french salad/sandwich bar. im not sure what it's called exactly but i know it had the word 'french' in its name and its located on the first floor in vivo city (not that those details will really help you find the place in that behemoth of a mall). i had an italianne salad (rocket, mozzarella bits, fresh mushrooms, olives etc.) and it was super good and super huge! with rustic rye bread. mmm. it was really delish and not too expensive and it makes you feel good to eat something soo healthy once in a bit. two french dudes -reeeal frenchies- run the place and chat with customers in this genial, french manner. nice guys. it was funny cos one of the french dudes was scowling at the very idea of delifrance... 'it's disgusting', he said, 'nothing bloody french about it.' oh well. i quite like delifrance to be honest. i guess im not really a gourmet/connoisseur or anything. haha, bring on the "croissants" !

mambo tonight, after the usual dinner / scavenging meal with jess. im quite excited about mambo -esp since i haven't been in flippin ages. but at the same time, im afraid that the inevitable will happen....

see, based on past experience, it will all begin like this:

then, there will be a gradual disintegration... to this:


then this:




and finally, if all goes well/badly.. this:
sigh. and you can only imagine how i look when i come to work the next day. a bit like a cross between dead pete doherty and a retarded panda bear.

i know im quitting soon and everything but i can't help but feel stressed! there's just so much i "think" i need to do. like fill in my evaluation (which i could probably finish in 15 minutes but which has taken me 3 days thus far), do my checklist (which, again, i could probably finish in 15 minutes but im too lazy to do), pack up my desk (a bit more tricky.... you should see it.. it's appalling) and.. and... well that's about it. it WILL be weird not having to come to office everyday though. it sounds daft but ill miss the coldness of the aircon, the company of busy colleagues and the familiar sight of a computer that is always on and always works (sigh. no more computer usage till i get a laptop man... unless you count shuch's com, which i -granted- use very often. hurhur).

another thing- my granddad fell on monday.. low blood sugar. and he didn't tell anyone! gawd. i tell you. what do you say/do to/for someone like that. shocking. and horrifying at the same time.